Thursday, August 30, 2007

this message is for hui yun:
if u dun believe me,it's ok...i realli control my feelings n trying to hold back my tears.i actually dun wan to cry cos i afraid dat the whole class would think dat it's your fault.but when ms tay tok to me...i just can't control it...I NEVA WAN OTHERS TO THINK THAT YOU R THE 1 HU MAKE ME CRY...i oso didn't tell them much...i dun wanna you to die...cos i will cry for you...n i cry,is not just bcoz of you...but oso my family...lyk you...i have been telling you dat my mom is taking sides wif my sister...n since dat dae we(my mom n i) quarrelled,we haf not been toking...n dat's why my dad scolded me which makes me think i'm unwanted!n cos dat u dun understand how i feel in my family cos i neva tell u much bout dat,so u dun noe...

i wanna sae sry for making yourself thinking dat u r unwanted n being treated as a criminal...seriously,i was very worried bout u todae cos this morning,stella told me dat u were scolded by your parents,which makes me feel very bad...i dun wan u to get hurt...i'm not kicking you around...i just dunnoe wad to do...it's bcoz i'm a councillor n thus,i oways go wif stella...ya,n i admit dat it's my fault...but i dun wan u to be left alone...lyk wad mr lau saes this morning,every1 got their rights to make frens...i blame myself for stopping you to make frens n asking u to stick wif me...so i'm sry...but later,i realised dat u have to make frens n u have the rights,i dun stop u n allowing you to go wif them as well...cos i can't stick wif you the whole dae,i'm in HCL,n u r in CL...i admit dat u shld make frens so dat u can go wif them when i got councillor duties or during chinese lessons...i'm jealous...i'm afraid dat other ppl willl snatch you away...i'm selfish...this is my fault...i sympathise u cos i noe dat nobody understand you,including your family n me,myself...i tried my very best to noe more bout u...i realli hope dat i can be your best fren,not just best fren,is a very close 1...do u understand?

yea...i cried partly cos of mr lau n u...if u can rmb,it was on wed when we were having art lessons...i sat wif stella cos we both wanted to hear chinese songs n yes,i did angry wif you...but i neva want to avoid you...but mr lau saes sumthing which makes me think that it's my fault...but mayb he's right in some way...for you...i just dunnoe wad can we tok about...dat's why i went dere to sit wif stella...so i dun blame you...i got tell michelle dat i'm afraid dat if i cry,which will make them think dat it's your fault...i feel bad..i feel guilty...i wanna sae sry...u sure u wanna end this frenship...?

tmr, we will be having camp,i dun wish dat it's a unmeaningful camp...i dun wan us to feel awkward when seeing each other...dat's why i'm here to sae sry...i will tell the whole class dat it's not your fault to make me cry...i have taken out the first step...if u still decided to end this frenship,den i got nothing to sae cos i realli dun noe wad am i supposed to do....

hui yun,you can blame me,but dun blame mr lau(frenster comment)...cos the problem lies on me...u blame him...but actalli he's the 1 hu helping us to bring us back together...u carn blame him...if u wan,u can blame me...no matter wad u wan me to do...i will abide...u dun get angry wif him...actually mr lau treated every student equally...he's not being biased...it's not your fault,not his fault,but is mine...u dun be so upset...if u wan me to kneel down n beg you for forgiveness,seriously,i'm willing to do it for our frenship's sake...

this message is for mr lau...
mr lau,if u read my blog,i wanna sae thx n sry...
thx is for all your supporting,all your concern,all your helps,n explaining things to me...u felt upset,which makes me feel realli guilty...i noe dat u have been wasting your tym,your money n have been doing a lot of things for us.u r trying to solve the problem but bcoz of i cried,making the whole thing becomes more worse... i dun wan to bother you just bcoz of this small matter...i hope dat hui yun read the paragraphs above,n hope dat everything will b ok again...i feel dat i'm a trouble-maker...i haf neva given u such a big headache,but now..making you disappointed n i am the first student hu makes you upset...u must be detest me a lot...if i were you...i dun even bother bout it cos i'm not a good student at all...SRY,SRY,SRY!!!i wanna try to solve the problem btwn us,n dun wan you to get upset again...apologising sincerely...sry...

this message is for every1 hu comfort me:
ppl....i wanna sae thx...i find dat i'm very unbearable...i cried,i do things to make u all worry...i'm very selfish...i onli think bout myself..i forgot dat u ppl oso have your own problems...but u all helped me,telling me dat it's onli a misunderstanding,which there's no a nid to make a big fuss over it...i feel very sry...i cried not just bcoz of hui yun onli...so ppl,pls dun blame her...she's pitiful enuf...she nids frens...dun just bcos of this,thinking dat she's the 1 hu makes me cry,n ignore her....she needs concern too...


I FEEL DAT I WAS A THORN IN EVERY1'S EYES,N NOT HUI YUN...I CRY OVER SUCH A SMALL THING WHICH MAKE U ALL MISUNDERSTOOD HUI YUN...DUN BLAME HER...IT'S NOT HER FAULT...I PLEAD FOR HER FORGIVENESS...N HOPE DAT EVERYTHING GOES RITE AGAIN...SRY MR LAU,SRY PPL N VERY SRY TOWARDS HUII YUNN...
4:28 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007

i realli tried to hold back my tears...so dat i won't cry...but it just flow out...
why!!!i have a bunch of good frens n classmates lyk STELLA(hu will oways be dere for me),EUNICE(hu encourage me),NURUL(hu saiyang me),HUAI YING(hu cares bout me),SATHYA(hu shows concern bout me),WILSON(hu trying to make me laugh),ANAS n a lot...why am i crying?i got super duper good teachers lyk MS TAY & MR LAU...
i just felt very upset...realli wan to cry for a while...tok to stella...but dere goes to the bell for nxt lesson(science)...dat's why...i cried durin science lesson...yepyep...i'm too emo!!!mr lau sae i shouldn't cry over such a thing...i' not the onli person in the world experienced this...wad's the point of crying when she dun care bout you?i must be wad i oways lyk in front of every1...a strong girl...a cheerful,talkative girl n laughing lyk a mad woman.but i carn do it now...it hurts me deeply....i carn forget everything n treat dat nothing happen.my heart takes time to heal...it heals quickly....so those ppl who concerned bout me...i wanna sae thx to all of you...if u all r not dere...i will be still crying rite now...i stopped crying now..but still very sad...but stella saes it will be over bfore you know it...yup...hope so...

todae...stella,nurul,belinda,chen cheng,eekeng,wei hong n me!!! went to j8...sry for wasting their tym cos me n nurul had been shopping for ________________...den when me,eekeng n wei hong walked bac to sch...carrying the _____yep...n i saw mr lau...!!!mr lau,eekeng n i walked home...no...is mr lau n eekeng goin to mrt station...while i'm heading towards the bubble tea shop...seriously...i looked very cheerful in front of everybody...they think dat i'm a strong girl...but actually i'm not...so mr lau...i'm not dat capable to handle my things...dat's why i told you dat i'm useless....i'm damn stupid...but todae...i realli realised dat good frens are oways be dere for you!!!thx,ppl!!!
3:16 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007

yup...you sounds pitiful...in your heart,there's onli gb gurls...no matter how much i do,you dun treat me as your good fren...fine!it's okay...you said dat u never wan me to stick wif you the whole dae,wad's the point to tell me dat i'm taking you as for granted...not letting u to feel dat i'm leaving you alone,i tried my very best to talk to you,treat you 100% well...u dun appreciate it...wad for?kk...i noe u can blame me...in other ppl eyes,dey sae dat i'm a good fren(from wad u sae,u proved others dat i'm not...n i agreed) or wadeva...n u r the onli person who oways think dat i treated you badly n unfit to b your fren...when you cough,i noe dat u dun drink water-cooler water,n i oways buy mineral water for u...u NEVA EVA sae thanks to me...kk,nvm...i dun expect much...when you're hungry,i noe dat u see other ppl eating,u will feel hungrier,i bought food for you...but u dun accept...it's ok,it's realli ok...

u rmb dat we went to j8 together so many times,i realli tot dat this could bring us closer...but it seems dat it is drifting us further n further...i had neva imagined dat we have become strangers to each other...during exams tym,u said u nid tuition for maths...i decided to teach you,despite not enuf tym for studying...cos of this my sis scolded me...yea...but i dun blame you...

you said dat u r a thorn...U R NOT!!!seriously,i treated you as my best best best fren...u can see this when i haf been crying everyday just bcoz of this small matter...i'm too emo...yes,i am...but why?in sch,i can b very playful,cheerful...but do u ever see me crying over friendship?shing pheng is an gd example...i lose her as my best best best fren due to misunderstanding...but this same goes to you...i dun wanna to lose a fren lyk you...but wad can i do...

i realli dun blame you...i noe it's not your fault...i'm stupid,idiotic,irritable....all the bad things or shortcomings goes to me...i'm useless!!!i dun even understand my fren perhaps...the prvious post dat i posted is not meant to hurt you in a way...ya...you will neva get hurt...u dun treat me as your fren...u told michelle dey all dat i treated u badly...ya perhaps...i'm not fit to be any1's fren...i should die earlier,so dat the whole world will be happy...n you will be the happiest...isn't it?but i hope dat u understand why must i write these,not to show off dat i'm a gd fren,but wanna you to noe...every1 around me are precious to me...including you...
5:28 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Monday, August 27, 2007

2 fotos to share...i took fotos of myself when i'm eating apple...tis is called 自拍！hahax...


bite it!

tis foto looks lyk Keely!!!hahax...
4:44 AM
Y.JIXIN says.

seriously,i wanna clarify 1 thing...it is i can't do or live without my dear lala,nurul n eunice...dey r oso important to mi...i can't stick wif u the whole dae but we talked nothing...it's difficult to survive for a talkative person w/o toking...i nid to make frens too,isn't it...?u said dat i left u alone,but i tried to tok to u,n it seems dat u r not listening...wad's the point?i felt super awkward coz we haf nothing to say bout...perhaps i dun understand u,n u dun understand me too...wadeva...i dun noe hw to go on lyk tis...but i will try to treat as nothing had happened.but dat's not goin to be the solution to the problem...i nid frens too...i have been trying very hard to avoid my frens,sticking wif u the whole dae...but it's too diffcult...they r precious to me,including you...i nid all of us...u sae i carn go wif them,but u r goin wif erika,leaving me alone...wad's the point to ask ppl to stick wif you,but u r taking them as for granted too...it's not dat i wan u to stick wif me,u have your opportunities to mak frens...n i dun stop u...why r u stopping me?not trying to scold you,or blaming you,i'm at fault too...but i realli nid stella...she's a great fren...n she needs frens...n me too...we both need each other...at least let me tok to her...she's oredi my best best best fren,how am i goin not to tok to her,rite...i'm not neither anry nor upset...just wanna let u noe dat...not onli u nid frens,the whole world ppl need frens too...
4:27 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Saturday, August 25, 2007

heyhey!

yesterdae,me,nurul,eunice n stella went to AMK hub...stella left earlier coz of __?__.

hahax...eunice n nurul went to shop 4 clothes!!!oh ya,we saw shing pheng wif her cousin dere,eating pepper lunch...hee hee...erm...we had been taking fotos the whole afternoon...even in the toilet...den we saw 1 guy went into the girls' toilet...his looks makes me think dat he's a PERVERT!!!he kept staring at us...izzit wrong to tak fotos in the toilet?but we lyk,cannot ar?



nurul looks so cute!!!


cheezzzzzzzzz...

the toilet smells nice...lol.

we went to tak neoprints!!!so cute!!!

stella...c lah!make me squat or wadeva...so ugly!!!
spoil my image...hahax
10:30 PM
Y.JIXIN says.
Friday, August 24, 2007

realli glad dat i haf a bunch of good frens around me,and of course a good teacher...if not bcoz of them...i will be very lonely and upset...thx eunice,stella,nurul,sathya n mr lau...sonja too...realli thx...all the words are so touching...making me feel lyk crying...mr lau saes is tears of joy,maybe...but thx ppl,wasting your tym to comfort me n wasting ur sms money...it's not stella's fault,so my dear lala,dun feel bad...it's all my fault for 'leaving' hui yun alone...but hui yun n i are okay oredi...we apologised to each other,n decided to be very close frens,i promised i will help her in her studies,of course,my lala oso,if i can help...n neva leaving ani1 alone...we are so close dat we carn be separated...so let's be close close frens den!:)
5:52 PM
Y.JIXIN says.

Just chatted wif hui yun...thru msn...n now my tears has been keep flowing down...
she dun understand how i feel...

firstly...i wanted her to noe dat i dun take her as for granted.i treat her as my very very very best fren even though i got angry wif her easily...but she thinks dat i'm leaving her alone...wad should i do to make her feel dat she is just as important as my family...yup...she said i shouted her,but she tok during lessons tym,if i dun stop her,she'll be the thu get scoldings...i beat her is just for fun,n i'm not hitting her dat hard...am i?i dun noe wad am i supposed to sae to her...she told me dat her mom promised to buy a hp for her if she do well in her eoy exams...i'm trying very hard to help her...not yearning for her a word of thanks...yup she neva said thx to mi...such as helping her to ask for marks for english...i knew dat close frens do not need each other to sae thx or sry...dat's why i dun blame her...i admitted dat i oways go wif stella,eunice n nurul...but when i noe dat she's not there i will turn back n go look for her...she's oways the 1 i'm worried but treasure the most...can she understand how i feel when she misunderstood me...i tot dat we r so close dat even though we quarrelled,a word of sry can help...but it's not...

HUI YUN,
i wanna you to noe dat u r very important to mi...no matter wad,in my heart,you r my best best fren....no one can change this fact...n yup...sumtimes i got irritated by you...but i noe dat u dun mean it...n i will oways forgif u...u misunderstood me...nvm...but i hope you understand...if u dun wan me to go wif them...just tell mi...i will stick wif you the whole dae...i will change...i'm not angry dat wad u said...just getting upset...but i hoped dat u can understand how i'm feeling now...n dun get this small misunderstanding into a big 1...SORRY FOR EVERYTHING...N I WILL GET IT OVER SOON...:(


I WANNA TREAT YOU VERY VERY VERY WELL
WILL NOT EVA LEAVE YOU ALONE ANYMORE
5:45 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Thursday, August 23, 2007

Todae is so tiring...we stayed back to help mr lau n ended up quite late...but it's quite fun,realli!!!

(yawn)(@.@)sleepy... ...tomorrow,we are goin to AMK hub!!!hope dat it's an enjoyable dae tmr!!!

buai ta han...gonna sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
5:54 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Monday, August 20, 2007

Todae's assembly,mr low's pointed sumone in my class...n i was extremely angry!i can confirm n guarantee dat is not hui yun n i hu were toking...those ppl just dun wan to admit it...n every1 turn bac n tot dat is us!it's lyk ****ing idiot lah!is oredi not us,why look at us!i CAN"T STAND THEM...nvm...wadeva...it's oredi the past,forget it!

i wanna sae sry to lala coz todae durin chinese lesson,ms yu sae sumthing which makes me feel very guilty towards stella...SORRY,lala!

heyhey!i got back my history paper:38/50...although is not very good...but i'm contented!i didn't have a chance to take bac my english paper coz mrs Lee gpt sumthing on,mr yip is our relief teacher...

sumthing realli funny happened just now...when hui yun n i were going home...(we r climbing up the stairs),n 1 guy(dunnoe frm wad stupid sch) came n sae:Girl,girl,girl...my fren wans your fone no....we ignored them...i think these guys escaped out from the mental hospital!!!hahax!
1:57 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Saturday, August 18, 2007

All thank to Hui Yun to help me do the blogskins...i'm a computer idiot!!!hahax...
Yup...yesterdae i went to j8 wif hui yun again!lol...we had been goin there for 3 daes continuously...walk here n walk there..nthg better to do...we went to POPULAR,den i sumhow heard joey's voice behind me...n den i told hui yun..hui yun,i think i heard joey's voice.WHO KNOWS!!!is realli her,wif her cousin,shirlene...hahax!!!:D I haf sharp ears!!!

Mr Lau saes dat sonja will be handing in 15 pieces of art work...but i think dat even though she has the most number pieces of artwork,but she may not be the best,rite?by now,i oredi have 13 pieces...must do more to beat her!!haha!!

If i'm not wrong...tmr we will be having english lessons...i'm afraid of my english results...but wad can i do?just hope dat god will bless me n i hope dat i can do well!!!
9:29 PM
Y.JIXIN says.
Friday, August 17, 2007

Wah seh!todae got back chinese n science paper...(heaved a sigh of relief)!I got 42.5/50 for science n 76/100 for chinese...thx god!!but now,the most worrying thing is my english paper!!!i afraid dat i will fail...GOD,pls bless me!!!realli glad dat my fren(_____)did pass the science paper...but i think she can do better!!!so all the best for her in eoy exams...stop toking bout exams...i'm gonna burst my head off!!!

Hey hey...todae i went to j8 wif hui yun todae!!first time i'm being so careless!!!i left my book in popular...hahax...n i forgot to take it...n when we reached the first floor,eating MAC,i den realised dat my science textbk was gone!!!Thx Hui Yun for accompanying me to go right up the popular n took bac my book...or else i'll be crying by now...n thx the guy who returned it to me...Thx GOD!!!

Mr Ng left,which came a new relief teacher...another teacher will be coming to teach our class nxt wk!!!hope dat SHE is not fierce...i smsed Mr Ng todae durin lessos tym...he told me to vist him wif my frens...n he gonna treat us!!!can't wait to c him...

Teachers' dae is coming...wad shld i buy for 'em???
1:47 AM
Y.JIXIN says.
Thursday, August 16, 2007

Haiz...Today is supposed to be a fun n happy day coz there's no exams as exams are over.However,ms tay marked the science paper so fast...she nearly returned us the papers...heng ah!!!lucky mr lau used his cme lesson for art...or else i will be in dead meat by now...(erm mayb is a rotten 1) hahax...although ms tay announced dat i got an A(dunnoe izzit an A1 or A2),but my fren(_____)she looked very sad...i dunnoe how to comfort her but i just hope dat she can do well as i believe dat she can do it...so ,my dear fren,go go go!!!All the best!!!
yep...todae is quite lyk a sad sad dae coz mr lau was quite disappointed in us...dunnoe wad to sae...but i hope dat everything will be fine!

oh ya...todae the most interesting thing is i went to j8 with hui yun....we walked around the j8,here n dere...n it is such a coincidence to see cassyber(my grand-daughter dog),shing pheng(my fake daughter) n xueni(haha,dun noe how's she related to me...i got a complicated family tree)!!!"shopping" with hui yun is realli fun...as we shop,we chat bout some lame things...it sounds stupid,but realli,we r enjoying being"lame"!!!hahax....realli glad dat i haf such a good fren!!!

tomorrow,we will be havin a new maths teacher...why must mr ng go...why must he abandon us,leaving us...i'm gonna miss him...he's the best maths teacher i ever have!!!no matter wad,i hoped dat god will bless him...n wanna thx mr ng for being such a great teacher!!!He rox!!!

hui yun just send me quite a few fotos which were taken on national dae celebration...of course,most of them are very ugly...n i'm not goin to show it aniwae...hahax...i can show onli 2 coz it's quite nice(me).lol..haha
Yea!Let's take take fotos...
Wah!takin fotos in the toilet!!!4 crazy ppl!!!
4:38 AM
Y.JIXIN says.




The GirlY
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Jessica Chung Jixin
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